


A LIAR'S FUNERAL | a corey taylor ff

by j0eYj0rdis0n



Category: Slipknot (Band)
Genre: A therapy story to help me with my mental illnesses, Depression, F/M, Mental Health Issues, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:36:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29113161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/j0eYj0rdis0n/pseuds/j0eYj0rdis0n
Summary: "ANOTHER NECK TOO EAGER FOR THE ROPE!"Depression is a deep and dark hole. It only gets darker and darker the longer you fall. Dehlila Carey has fallen into the hole and the light just seems to be fading quicker and quicker. But when she meets Corey Taylor, she may just be able to claw her way out.
Relationships: Corey Taylor/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story also includes sensitive subject matter such as: strong language, violence, depression, suicidal thoughts, and self harm.
> 
> CAST:
> 
> Corey Taylor  
> Dehlila Carey

**Carey.**

Depression is a hole. So dark and so deep that you don't think you'll ever make it out alive. Sometimes you just wish you could fall to your death. Give up. Finally find the end of the hole and be at peace. Each day is a fight to make any progress to the light above. The light is small and dim but the closer you climb the brighter it will get. I don't have much faith in ever getting to that distant light though. It's impossible at this point.

| | |

My mom calls from outside of my door, telling me that It's time to get my ass up and go to school. What a funny thought. Actually going to school...

Regardless I pull off the covers with a sigh, trudging over to my closet to change into new clothes even though the ones I've had on for the past three days would work just fine. I pick up a navy blue tank top and grey sweatpants from the floor and pull them on. Good enough. No need to impress.

I yank my hairbrush through my unruly black hair. After a few tugs I decide It's good enough. It hangs in my face as I walk down the stairs, phone in hand and my backpack on my shoulders.

"You're going to be late. Get your shoes on and get going." My mom grumbles from the kitchen, throwing me my keys. I catch them and stuff them in my pocket, shoving my feet into my black combat boots and grabbing my heavy jacket before walking out to my car. It's chilly out and a rainy snow falls from the sky, melting before it even hits the ground.

I get in and start up the engine, pulling out of the driveway and down the road. I find the closest spot I can in the school parking lot and walk inside, keeping my head low as I make it to my locker, shoving my bag inside. I learned early on that if I ever wanted to skip a class you can't just say you're going to the bathroom and walk out of class with your bag. So I got smart and keep it in my locker.

I pick a notebook out from my bag and walk to my first class, math. I'm already not looking forward to it. Whoever made my schedule can get fucked because no one should have to go to a math class first. Especially someone who has such a small understanding of it. But regardless I go, taking my seat in the back. I only expect to last a good five minutes before I just leave.

| | |

I was right. Five minutes and I was out. I grab my bag out of my locker, walking to one of the side entrances to the building and getting the hell out of there. The rainy snow continues to fall from the gloomy Iowa sky as I walk to my Honda, shivering all the while. I yank open the door and start the car, cranking up the heater and pulling out of the parking lot. I really don't have anywhere to go, I can't go home since my mom will be there until at least lunch, and I can't keep driving around since I really don't have any money for gas. My solution? Go to a park and sit in the cold.

So that's what I do. I drive to the one down the road from my house and take a seat at the top of the playground equipment. It's freezing cold but I couldn't care less. I'd rather sit outside in the cold and freeze than sit in a damn math class. Or any class for that matter. I sit for a long while in the everlong drizzle of rain, lost in a blank daze, only getting snapped out when I hear the slam of another car door. My head snaps in the direction of the sudden noise.

An average sized boy storms over to the swings. He has on dark blue jeans, a band t-shirt, grey hoodie, and a jack skellington hat with wavy blonde hair. I think I've seen him around my neighborhood. He's friends with the drummer kid that's my neighbor. Joey I think his name was...? He's actually pretty good despite his size. This kid's name is Corey if I remember correctly. He's always seemed cool enough. Never really talked to him even though we're in the same grade... Supposedly he's in a band or something.

He grumbles to himself for a while, smoking a cigarette before he finally sees me and flashes a smile. I fake a smile and look down at my hands that rest in my lap. Seconds later I feel the equipment shake as he climbs up the ladder to the highest point where I sit. He sits across from me in the tiny walkway, barely being able to stretch his legs across. We sit in silence for a while before he finally speaks.

"What're you doing out in the cold?" He asks.

"I could ask you the same question." I respond quietly.

He lets out a soft chuckle. "Well I'm out here because I don't want to go home."

"Me too." I sigh and curl into my jacket. The one gift I'd gotten for Christmas in the last two years. It was a snap-on jacket from my father figure. I was thankful someone actually cared for me.

"Well I guess we better get comfortable." He smiles and lays down, his hands behind his head and his face to the sky.

"Your name's Corey right?" I question.

"Am I suddenly famous?"

I hum in response, "I guess so..."

I can almost feel the smile that must be stuck on his face. "Well miss mysterious, what's your name?"

"Dehlila. But you can call me Lila." I say.

"That's a pretty name. Suits you." He takes a drag of his cigarette.

I crack a smile. "So are you and Joey a thing?" I ask.

He lets out a wheeze, choking on smoke while clutching his stomach as he rolls over laughing. "Me and Joe? Nah! Just good friends. Why do you ask?" He looks over at me.

"You're always over at his place." I shrug.

"So I suddenly can't go over to my friends house?" He questions with a smirk.

"I guess not." I chuckle.

"So you must be his 'pretty neighbor' huh?" He teases with his chin in his palm, looking up at me.

"I wouldn't say pretty, but neighbor yes." I reply.

"I'd say pretty." He smiles.

I roll my eyes and look up at the darkening sky. I've been here all day, no wonder I can't feel my toes. I still don't want to go home, knowing that my mom will be there and she's the last person I wish to deal with.

Minutes later Corey stands up, he's shaking from the cold but still can muster up a smile. "Well miss mysterious, I'm gettin' cold so I'll see ya' around." He playfully bows before slowly climbing down the ladder and walking over to his car. I only watch as he goes, fully intending to stay here until I practically freeze to death or someone comes looking for me. It most likely won't be the latter.


	2. Chapter 2

**Taylor.**

For the next week I couldn't stop thinking about her. Lila... I saw her in the halls at school, her dark hair in her face as she walked with her head hung. She always had her headphones in. I'd also see her at the park occasionally, we'd talk a little, mostly small talk but she didn't seem to want to open up quickly.

She was something else entirely. I couldn't quite place my finger on how I felt about her. She was definitely carrying her fair share of baggage and It was blatantly weighing her down. She looked so worn every time I saw her. Coming from someone who has their own heavy bags to carry I could tell right away she was struggling to carry the weight.

I sit in the recliner in Joey's living room, staring out the window and watching Lila take another drag from her cigarette on the back deck. I never took her for a smoker. She leans over the railing, looking at the snow covered grass below, heaving a sigh. Rough day I'd imagine.

"Are you just going to stalk my pretty neighbor or are you going to go talk to her?" Joey questions as he continues mindlessly playing his video game on the TV.

"I'm not stalking her." I shoot back.

"Well you sure as hell have been talking about her for the last few days. Go over and give her your number or something. Just be warned though, she's going through some shit. I don't know what but I've heard some serious screaming coming from over there. But you've gone through shit too so you'd know how to handle a girl like her better." He rambles.

"Should I?" I question.

He shrugs. "I don't see why not." He replies. "She obviously likes you more than me."

What's the harm right? Maybe she could use someone to lean on... She seems stubborn but then again so am I.

"I'll be right back." I say and get my shoes on hastily, I throw on my jacket and walk out the backdoor. I hear the sound of crying and I know It's coming from Lila. I watch from the side of Joey's house as she screams and bangs her fist against the railing with a loud curse. She takes an angry drag from her cigarette a second later. She sinks down to her knees, the cigarette still in-between her lips.

I take that as my queue to run over. "Hey!" I shout lightly.

She whips around, looking for me. I wave from her backyard with a crooked smile. I watch her wipe her tears quickly and stand up, looking over the railing at me.

"So you're stalking me now?" She says dryly.

I chuckle and walk closer. "I just wanted to ask you for your number... Maybe we could hang out or something?" I propose the idea hesitantly.

She thinks for a moment. "Get your ass up here." I see a small set of spiral stairs that lead up to the deck which I quickly make my way up. "You want to come inside?" She offers once I stand in front of her.

I nod quickly, It's cold as fuck outside. Iowa winters are no joke.

She snuffs out her cigarette on the railing before throwing it off into the snow, opening the sliding doors. I walk inside, immediately engulfed in the warmth of the house. The house is dark and dead silent. Empty and sad.

"My mom's out." She states and kicks off her heavy boots, walking to the small living room and plopping herself on the couch. I follow suit, sitting next to her. We sit in comfortable silence before she speaks. "So you want my number huh?"

"If you don't mind giving it to me." I smile.

She nods and takes my phone from my hands, typing in what I only assume is her number.

"Well there you go." She smiles back, handing me my phone. Her contact was named 'Miss Mysterious'. I couldn't help but chuckle. She's certainly something else. "You want anything to eat? Drink?" She asks politely.

"Got any beer?" I ask.

"Are you of age?"

I'm about to respond before she cuts me off. "I'm just kidding, I don't care how old you are." She gets up and walks to the kitchen, quickly returning with two bottles of beer, handing me one and taking a long sip from hers.

"I didn't take you to be a drinker... Or a smoker for that matter." I say.

She shrugs. "Not everyone is what they seem."

"That certainly describes you." I laugh.

"Well thank you. I'll take that as a compliment. Who the fuck likes to be an open book." She takes another sip.

We sit in more comfortable silence before I speak up. "So why were you crying earlier?" I question.

"I wasn't crying-" She tries to defend herself. "Just... Thinking."

"About?"

"Life."

"Very specific." I say.

"I've only really just met you Corey. You're not going to get my full life story." She grumbles.

I nod, Trust isn't formed in a day and it sure as hell Isn't just handed out like candy, I learned that one the hard way. The real hard way.

The silence Isn't so comfortable this time...

She breaks it rather quickly. "Well my ma is going to be home soon. She doesn't like new people. Especially people I bring home." She sighs. It's not hard to see that she doesn't have the brightest relationship there.

"I guess I better get going then." I give a friendly smile before getting my shoes on once again and walking out the back. Hopefully she'll actually answer if I call...


	3. Chapter 3

**Carey.**

Since I gave Corey my number, we honestly hadn't texted much. Just the occasional small talk or check in. Not that I shared much anyway. I never really felt like it. I'd probably tell him what he'd want to know if he asked all the right questions in the right order. But he hasn't quite gotten there yet. It's unfortunately only a matter of time until he cracks the code. Or until I burst. Whatever one comes first. Then he'll know all the dirty details that should've been left unsaid and unheard.

This is why I hate having friends.

It's Saturday, the worst day of the fucking week. It's everyone else's favorite but I dread it. For two straight days I have to withstand my mom. I try my hardest to just lay low, keep my head down, and stay in my room. But always despite my best efforts she always finds something to pick at me for. It usually ends up in the same stupid arguments. Just a monotonous cycle of fights. A cycle we'll probably never be able to break.

I never can expect much from her anyway. I've just gotten used to the feeling of hurt.

I sit in my room, listening to Marilyn Manson so obnoxiously loud in my headphones that there's almost no purpose in having them at all and writing on my laptop. This is usually what I choose to do when I don't want to see my mom or start any sort of conversation. The normal weekly cycle.

Snow falls softly outside the whole day, we'll probably end up with a foot of snow by the next morning. And of course I'll have to shovel it all.

The night goes by relatively smoothly which was quite surprising. I decided against coming out for any food just because of the pure fear of getting into an unwanted argument. Not caring at all about the snow I push open my window, climbing out onto the tiny roof over the back deck and pulling out my pack of cigarettes. I flick the lighter and inhale the smoke into my lungs. A sense of peace washes over me as the snow catches in my dark hair. This seems to be the only way I can feel at peace besides listening to music.

I sit in silence, taking long drags and watching the snow. My phone dings and I pull it out of my pocket, checking for who could possibly care to text me.

Corey. Of course.

C: Hey whatcha doing?

L: Chilling, smoking, y'know the usual. You?

C: Funny 'cause I'd be doing the same

L: Damn too bad we can't smoke together

C: Who says we can't? ;)

I chuckle as I read the message. What a dork.

L: The weather?

C: No weather can stop me

L: Yeah alright good luck with that

C: I'll be over in 10

I shake my head and take a final drag before putting my phone in my back pocket and snuffing the cigarette out, slipping back inside through my window. I highly doubt he'll actually be over here at all. I wouldn't be surprised if he blows me off. That's what most of my 'friends' seem to do.

Ten minutes pass by slowly and I lay on my bed, staring up at my ceiling fan in the dark. I love being alone but times like this I just want to be in someone's arms. It's a guilty pleasure of mine. But the thing is, I have no one to hold me. So I'm left alone, in the darkness and cold with my window still open. It's pretty sad actually... Well it makes me sad at least.

My sad thoughts are cut short when a familiar, out of breath voice speaks. "Hey miss mysterious. You must love the cold to keep your window open." Corey crouches on the roof, looking in at me through the window with another crooked smile.

"Hey Corey." I turn my head to look up at him with a half smile.

"You look sad, what's going on inside that head of yours?" He asks as he hops inside, taking off his Converse and shutting the window.

I shrug, not really wanting to tell him I want to be in someone's arms. We've only been 'friends' for maybe four days...

"Come on, I can see that you want to say it." He chuckles and takes a seat at my desk.

"No... My mind is just weird. No one likes to know what goes on up there." I reply halfheartedly.

"Well mine is too, so yours can't be much worse." He says.

I shake my head. "Maybe I'll tell you some other time..."

"Maybe?" He questions.

"Maybe." I respond.

We sit in silence for a while before he speaks up. "You know you can tell me anything Lila. I won't judge you I promise."

I nod silently, not buying it at all. Everyone judges. Everyone. You can't get away from their opinions and comments. He'll just think I'm a freak, a failure, or just a fuck up. I highly doubt I'll tell him anything unless I crack.

"I'm serious Lila. I can tell that you don't believe me. But I'm serious when I say that I care and your feelings matter to me." He says softly as he moves closer to me, kneeling by the edge of the bed.

"How can you tell?" I ask weakly.

"I can see it on your face. You're guarded and you don't like to tell people how you feel." He responds. "Let me see the world inside your head."

"Not today... The world is dark and gloomy."


	4. Chapter 4

**Taylor.**

We smoked for a while but I could tell she was getting cold so we went back inside her room. It was a pleasant space, small, but it felt like a place you could just be yourself. There were posters on the walls, a small bed on the right side of the room and a white desk on the left side with a tall bookshelf filled to the brim with trinkets and books behind it. She had plenty of keepsakes all around, organized chaos. It was nice.

We spent a while talking before a loud banging was heard from the other side of her door.

"Shit!" She whisper yells. "Corey I'm so sorry but you have to go-" She looks at me with a panicked expression.

I throw on my shoes, quickly grabbing my coat and slipping out the window. She closes it behind me, pulling the curtains shut. I stand just outside the window hoping to hear whoever is busting in.

"What the fuck are you doing in here Dehlila?!" An angry female voice shouts.

"School work!" She defends.

"With your door locked?" The voice spits.

"I didn't realize ma!" She says.

"Didn't realize my ass! Who the fuck did you have in here?!" I hear rummaging around and I move further away from the window in case she decides to look out, covering my footprints by kicking some of the snow over them.

"I didn't have anyone in here! I don't have any fucking friends!" She shouts.

"I swear to god Dehlila if you had anyone in this room I will make your life more miserable than it already is." Her mom grumbles.

There's silence for a few moments before the slamming of a door. I give it a few more moments before shuffling back over to her window, opening it slowly and pushing the curtains aside.

"Corey go home." She sighs with her head in her hands.

"Are you alright?" I ask, sitting next to her on the edge of the bed.

"Yes. I'm fine." She replies, her words muffled by her hands.

I don't believe her at all but I don't say anything. She obviously has never been able to tell anyone how she feels. I put an arm around her shoulders slowly. She makes no move to push it away, rather leans into my side. I highly doubt she's ever been comforted by anyone in her life either.

"You want to go for a drive? Get away for awhile?" I ask softly.

"My mom would kill me..." She murmurs.

"I won't let her." I respond.

"You won't be here to protect me."

"Well then you can just stay with me." I say.

She looks up at me, pulling away. "Corey I can't do that."

"Yeah you can! I'm sure the guy I'm living with won't mind. He's the best I promise."

"I'm not going to just bust into your friend's house and say that I'm living with you both now." She laughs softly.

"Well just know that the option is always open." I smile.

She shakes her head with a small smile. "Go home Corey."

"Okay okay!" I chuckle and take my leave with a wave. I hope that she's alright...


	5. Chapter 5

**Carey.**

"You fucking bitch! I hate you!" I scream in my moms face. "You're a terrible excuse for a parent!"

Another rough night. What more did I expect... After last night I'm not surprised that her bad mood continued.

I watch as she laughs from her spot on the couch.

"You're an abusive piece of shit!" I roar, trying to keep my tough persona up.

She only laughs harder. "And how would that be? I don't see any marks." She snaps back.

I struggle to keep my tears at bay. It's hard. So fucking hard to keep them in. It hurts. Years of mental, verbal, and emotional abuse piled up because of her. And yet she can't even man up enough to admit it.

"I don't know what you're talking about Lila. I've provided everything for you! Where the fuck is your deadbeat father? Huh?!" She shouts. "You're so ungrateful for everything I do!"

"He's not a deadbeat!" I retort. "He'd be a better parent then you if I actually lived with him!"

My dad had left when I was six. He told me he was going and that he'd visit me often. He kept his promise for a while. Every month he'd come back to Iowa and see me but as I grew up, those visits became less and less frequent. Every two months, then every six months, then once a year if I was lucky...

Phone calls were the best I could get now.

She laughs some more. "He couldn't raise pigs let alone a teenage girl. But It's always about you, you, you!" She stands up from her spot, stepping right into my space. Her nose is practically touching mine.

"Do it. Hit me. I fucking dare you." I whisper. I almost hope she does so I can do it back. So I can finally hurt her. But she doesn't move a muscle, staring deep into my eyes. I'm not shaken, I've gone through this enough to know she wont. She's afraid. Just how she should be.

"Come on. Are you scared?" I taunt with a smile. I only throw on this asshole persona when I'm trapped. No one has to tell me because I already know it. She can't see that I'm weak, I can't let her see that she's right. I'm just a piece of shit, failure who'll never go anywhere in life. My hands shake from the pure adrenaline pumping through me.

A sharp smack is all that can be heard in the small room. A ringing in my ears follows shortly after then a burning feeling across the whole right side of my face.

"Get the fuck out of my house Dehlila." My mom says sharply.

"Gladly." I spit, storming up to my room to grab the few items I'll need, including $150 stolen from my mom, a sweatshirt, my school bag, and my phone charger. I storm back down the stairs and out the front door, slamming it loudly behind me. I'm surprised it didn't fall from the hinges. I wish it did.

I get into my shitty blue Honda, starting it up and driving to the only place I know I'll be accepted. I park on the dirty street outside the house, walking up and knocking on the door hastily. It seems as if he has plenty of guests over, judging by the amount of cars in the driveway and on the street. Not like that's all that unusual for him, he's a fucking party animal anyway. I don't care though. I just want to get out of the cold and get a hug, maybe a place to stay if I'm lucky, I know he has a roommate. But It's late and freezing, so cold I can see my heavy, uneven breaths. So this is my last resort right now. I wrap my arms around myself to keep in whatever warmth I have left.

Just as I go to knock again, the door is swung open revealing just the person I need. I finally let my tears fall when I see him, knowing he's the only person I can be weak around. He's never judged me ever, and we've been friends since middle school. I drop my bag on the front porch with a thud as he engulfs me in a strong hug. I shake in his arms, sobbing loudly.

"Lila It's alright... I'm here." He says softly into my hair.

I feel my legs start to give out and we both sink to the ground, his arms still tightly wrapped around me. We stay like that for a long time. I've stopped crying but neither of us has made any attempt to move from our position. He only comforts me quietly.

"Lila let's head inside. Do you need a place to stay? You know I've got an extra room." He says softly.

"But didn't you say you have a roommate?" I ask with a sniffle.

"He's chill! He'd be alright with taking the couch for a while!" He says with a warm smile.

"No I can take the couch, or the floor for all I care!"

"You're taking the room." He chuckles and helps me up, walking me inside his house. I've always loved this place, It's just felt like my real home. Since the home I do live in, doesn't seem much like one... The place smells like weed and beer, a smell that reminded me of my dad. 

Comforting.

"The guys are here, do you want to come join us? Have a drink?" He asks.

"I don't want to interrupt..."

"Quit it. You already know we all love you." He ruffles my dark hair.

"Fine... Just let me clean myself up a little. I just sobbed for like thirty minutes." I sigh.

He nods. "You know where the guest room is, just throw your stuff in there and clean up in the bathroom. Come out whenever you're ready."

"Thanks Sid..." I say softly.

"Of course Del." He gives me another tight hug before walking in the direction of the living room.

I quickly make my way to the dark guest room, throwing my bag on the floor next to the bed. I sit on the edge of the bed and hold my head in my hands, trying to keep in the rest of my tears that so desperately want to come out. I'm such a pussy... I shake it off and stand up, walking to the living room, suddenly not caring about my appearance anymore.

The guys all welcome me in quickly after a brief pause in their conversations, Sid hands me a cold beer.

"Corey, this is Del. She'll be staying here for a while." Sid says with a smile, making room for me on the already crowded couch. I could see the surprise on Corey's face. Probably because I look so shitty.

"I had no clue you all knew her." He chuckles.

"She's pretty popular!" Sid smiles.

"Shut up Sid. I'm not." I say.

"She's pretty and popular!" He retorts.

I roll my eyes before taking a sip of my beer. Everyone knows I'm not popular. Only well known. Which is completely fine with me. I just wish I was known for better reasons. 'Well known but not well liked' as I prefer to say.

"What happened this time Lila." Shawn asks.

"Shawn." Paul gives him a glare.

"What?! I'm just asking!" He defends himself.

"Nothing happened. I just... Needed to get away." I sigh. "I'm gonna need like four more of these." I point to my beer bottle, finishing it off.

"Well obviously something happened." Sid says as he hands me another.

I shoot him a deadly glare. They all know very well that I don't get on with my mom very well. I don't choose to go into it and they don't dig any further.

Everyone sits around and talks for a few hours, I sit in silence for the majority of it. Only speaking when I'm spoken to. I've gone through about five beers and I'm most certainly feeling it. I'm a sad drunk, crying, questioning life, the whole nine yards. But I'm doing fine for the moment, well at least trying to keep myself together. I know this won't last much longer.

Eventually the guys decide that It's time for them to take their leave, everyone says their goodbyes before walking out the door. I stay on the couch for a few more seconds before I get the strength to stand and stumble to the guest room. Saying I feel shitty is an understatement.

I walk into the tiny connected bathroom, staring at myself in the mirror. I look like a fucking train wreck, bags are prominent under my blue eyes, my blonde roots are starting to show through, I look skinny, too skinny, that's unfortunately how I like it. But I don't like that I look weak, I look like a failure, a little girl who's so fragile she'd break if you held her wrong. I stare at myself, almost lost in a trance of picking out every ugly and undesirable thing about me.

Abruptly in a surge of rage I pull at my hair, stinging pain courses through my head as tears cloud my vision. I feel angry, so fucking angry, I could hurt someone right now. I want to. I want to see pain.

I hit myself. Again. And again. And again. Falling to my knees with a thud, more pain shoots through my legs. I deserve pain. I'm an asshole. I don't care about anyone but myself. I deserve it. I bang my head against the tile floor, wishing I could just knock myself out. I want to scream, It's just in the back of my throat, ready to go, begging to be set free. But I can't, not here. Not now...

I let out a loud sob in result, smacking my hand over my mouth to keep any other unwanted noises from coming out. I curl into a ball and ugly cry. My hair shields me on top of my hands that cover my disgusting face. I silently pray and beg for anyone to come in. I don't even believe in any god. But I pray for forgiveness for being such a terrible human. I prey for someone to come in and ask me if I'm okay, to give me a hug because I'm too weak to go ask for one myself. I lay on that floor for a long time. A very very long time. My tears have stopped but the shaking had only just started.

But at least my prayers were answered eventually.

"Lila...?" A hesitant voice asks.

I make no attempt to look at who I know is standing in the doorway.

"Lila are you alright?" The voice is closer now and I feel him next to me.

I shakily hold out a hand for him to take, which he gladly does and helps me to sit up. I press my back against the wall, desperately wiping my tears so I don't seem like a total wimp. But I know the puffiness and redness around my eyes says it all. The streaks of tears that stain my cheeks, the snot that runs down my face.

Corey's eyes look deep into my own, our knees touch as we sit on the floor. I let out another sob and fall forward onto his chest. I can't be strong all the time. I don't have anymore strength left to show.


	6. Chapter 6

**Taylor.**

Sid invited the guys over to have some drinks and hang out, everyone was sprawled out around the living room doing their thing, partaking in their own conversations, playing video games on the small tv, snacking on Casey's pizza that rests in the box on the table. Sid has an unhealthy addiction to Casey's pizza.

Soon into the night there's a loud knocking on the door, no one really pays it any mind. Sid gets up and makes his way out of the living room. I go back to my conversation with Shawn about an idea for an album. Fifteen minutes pass, then thirty, and I slowly begin to wonder where the fuck Sid went. Almost as if my mind was read, he walks around the corner and sits back down next to me with a heavy sigh but an everlasting pleasant smile.

"What's up man?" I ask.

"You'll see in a few." He takes a sip of his beer that he picked up from the wooden side table.

I shrug it off, picking up my conversation with Shawn once again. Once he gets talking It's like he can't be stopped. He only stops when everyone else does, leading me to turn and look where everyone else is.

Miss mysterious makes her way around I see.

Sid hands her a cold beer as everyone greets her happily, not noticing the puffiness in her eyes.

"Corey, this is Del. She'll be staying here for a while." Sid says with a smile, making room for Lila between us both on the crowded couch. I was surprised to see her here if I was being honest. I never expected her to know all the guys in the band besides me. I never would've guessed I was that anti-social.

"I had no clue you all knew her." I comment.

"She's pretty popular!" Sid blurts.

"Shut up Sid. I'm not." Lila mumbles from next to me.

"She's pretty and popular!" He retorts.

I have to agree on that one. She's hands down one of the most pretty girls I've seen. She obviously doesn't see it like the rest of us do.

I see her roll her eyes as she takes a long sip of her beer.

"What happened this time Lila." Shawn asks like this sort of thing happens all the time.

"Shawn." Jim gives him a glare.

"What?! I'm just asking!" He defends himself.

"Nothing happened. I just... Needed to get away." Lila says defeated. "I'm gonna need like four more of these." She points to the almost empty bottle of beer in her hand, taking the final drink from it.

"Well obviously something happened." Sid mutters as he hands her another. I wouldn't encourage drinking to cope like she obviously is but I can't really say anything since I do the same thing.

She shoots him a glare that could kill you. Everyone chooses not to pry once they see the look she gives him. I don't dare ask any questions. After hearing the way her mother talked to her last night, I can make my assumptions as to what happened. Everyone sits around and continues their conversations while drinking their beers. Lila stays mostly silent for it all, not totally out of character for her but five beers later it does seem pretty worrisome.

Everyone decides It's getting late and It's time for them to head home. Most of them are pretty drunk but they're the ones who're choosing to get behind the wheel not me. I don't stop any of them as they walk out the front door, yelling their goodbyes to me as they walk to their cars. I walk back to the living room, not seeing Lila anywhere.

I look around the small house for her, eventually ending up in the guest room where I normally sleep. I hear choked sobs and loud sniffles so I take a step in. The room is dark aside from the bluish green light that floods out from the tiny connected bathroom. I stand just outside the doorway to the bathroom seeing Lila in a shaking ball on the tiled floor. Her hands cover her face and her hair is draped over them and sprawled all over the floor. Never would I have expected to see her like this.

I say her name cautiously. I get no response so I slowly walk in, sitting on my knees next to her. "Lila are you alright?" I ask softly.

She shakily holds out her pale hand, which I take gently, helping her up from her fetal position on the floor. She mirrors me, sitting on her knees so ours touch. She's trying so hard to be strong, to act tough, to make everything seem alright when It's so obviously not. Her shaking body gives it all away. I've been in her situation before. I know what she's feeling. All too well...

I look her over, seeing the tear stains and the snot on her face, her hair is messy like she'd been pulling on it and there's redness on her cheeks most likely from scratching or hitting. I move my attention to her piercing blue eyes. I never really noticed the color until now. The redness around her eyes really brings out the blue. They're quite beautiful. We stare into each other's eyes, I see the tears that she's so desperately trying to hold back start to fall. She lets out a sob and falls forward onto my chest, gripping my shirt tight. I sit in slight shock for a moment before pulling her close. Her tough persona finally cracked and fell apart. Her frail frame shakes in my arms.

"It's alright..." I say softly as I rub her back.

"I'm so sorry..." She sobs into my chest.

"Don't be sorry. I'll stay with you for as long as you need." I respond, shifting to a more comfortable position so my back is against the wall and my legs are straight out in front of me. We sit there for a while, I hold her gently like she'd crack and break if I held her wrong. Which was probably the truth, she probably would break. The small bathroom is dead silent, even her sniffles have stopped and her breathing has become more regular. She slowly lets go of me, standing up wearily and holding her hand out for me. I stand up as well, grabbing her hand so she can take me where she wants to go. I don't quite know if I want to leave her alone.

She looks tired, all the life is drained from her body. We walk up the small staircase and up to the room Sid set aside for music and other things. She lets go of my hand, flicking on the soft purple lights, sitting down on yet another couch by his stereo system. I watch as she lights a blunt from a makeshift package on the side table and takes a long drag. Sid has too many drugs just lying around in this house. 

"Smoke with me... Please..." She asks, her voice barely above a whisper.

I could never turn down an opportunity to smoke so I sit next to her, pulling a blunt out of the makeshift case Sid's made and lighting it. I see the tenseness fade from her body as she exhales.

"My mom is abusive." She mumbles suddenly.

I turn to look at her, "why didn't you tell me sooner?" I ask, not all that surprised since I did hear first hand how her mother chooses to talk to her.

"No one cares about me. I'm sure you're no different." She huffs.

"Lila." I take one of her hands in mine, "I care about you a lot. No one should ever be living with someone who abuses them." I say. "That's why you're here. You're safe here."

"I can't just not go back..." She mumbles before taking another drag.

"Yes you can."

"Corey-"

"Lila. Yes you can. Because I did." I respond, squeezing her hand lightly.

"What do you mean 'you did'." She snaps.

"My mom was a piece of shit. Brought home as many boyfriends as she wanted. They'd push and slap me around and eventually I got tired of it. So I just fucking left. I've been rooming with Sid for a while now but before I was on the street. I know what It's like to feel how you do." I say.

She doesn't respond for a long while, only sitting and smoking quietly. I can see her thinking about what I'd said. She almost seems to shut down.

"Y'all are smoking without me! Damn I feel excluded!" Sid laughs as he walks in, quickly noticing the somber mood. "Del what's up girl?" He quickly kneels down in front of her, catching her gaze.

I can tell she doesn't want to say anything, but to my surprise she does. "My mom's abusive." She says once again but much quieter.

"Del... Why didn't you tell me?" He asks worriedly.

"Because I didn't want to seem weak! Like another girl who just can't take the things her mom says to her!" She stands and shouts.

"Lila do you even understand how strong you are?" Sid asks, standing with her. "You're the strongest girl I fucking know. I wouldn't think for a fucking second that you were weak because your mom is a piece of shit." He rests his hands on her shoulders.

She shakes him off and sits back down, curling into my side. "Can we just drop it?" She asks.

Sid sighs but nods when he realizes he won't get anywhere. "Just know Del, you can stay here as long as you want." Sid says softly before popping in a cd and grabbing himself something to smoke, sitting in the recliner across from us.


End file.
